From the Desk of Dr. Quiñonez
March 2023
If you spend any time with me – even if you’re not meaning to! – I will likely tell you one of several stories. One of them is that I have a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). Why is this so important to me? It is important because it has taught me much about life. The lesson I want to communicate today goes like this:
“What is the first rule of a fight?”
“Do not fight.”
Life in a dental school can be complex, and not everyone agrees with each other all the time. That is normal. It is also normal to be upset with others’ decisions and behaviours, but the worst thing one can do is respond in anger.
As per the first rule, there are always two losers in a fight. It does not matter who wins – if that is even important – as the consequences of an altercation – in our case a verbal one – always demands a price from those involved. No one leaves unscathed.
If someone upsets or offends you, or if someone actually wants to pick a verbal fight with you or is argumentative in an unreasonable manner, don’t engage them. Yes, stand up for what you believe in and think is right, but do so politely, dispassionately, and with aplomb.
This is a far more productive way of dealing in human relations. On many occasions, such an approach will also result in compromise, which is the highest form of negotiation.
